#he's also the team garbage can | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dear-ao3 · 1 year ago

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Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

#not a tag #from saph #f1 #:)#silly season #my beloved!

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mentally-gone002 · 6 months ago

Text

i’m right here…

summary: spencer is really upset about a decision you made in the field.

warnings: angstyyy!!

a/n: here i am with another spencer x reader💃 also i was actually on the cusp of death(sleep) while proofing this one so… if there’s anything i missed that’s mb lmaooo (yo girls tired af) also!!! this isn’t supposed to be within any specific season or anything it’s kinda just out there!!

———————————————————————

the door of spencer’s apartment was slammed behind you. he sounded angry the from way he did it, rightfully so, but you’ve never seen him this angry. you didn’t get the chance to fully react before he was grabbing your wrist to pull you away to his bathroom. he gestured for you to sit on the vanity counter.

you stayed quiet. spencer’s face was contorted with pinched brows, clenched teeth and narrowed eyes as he seethed silently, reaching to carefully peel a piece of lightly blood soaked bandage from your forehead. he tossed it into the garbage can and started to clean the blood from your head.

you’d gotten injured in the field hours earlier. you’d gone after the unsub the team was after because you thought you could detain her. of course, that plan of yours failed, ending with your forehead falling victim to the back of the gun the woman had. luckily morgan was there to detain her before she took a shot at you on the ground.

spencer had been silent towards you ever since he heard of how you disobeyed direct orders from hotch.

it was strange to not hear him talk for this long. it was going on five hours. five hours too long in your opinion.

as he finished replacing your bandage you spoke up. “i’m sorry.” was all you said. it would probably be useless because all the other attempts to make him talk to you were just filled with more silence and maybe a disappointed look. he sighed heavily though as he looked away.

“i don’t understand why you couldn’t just listen to hotch.” his brown eyes bore into yours when he said that.

you shrugged. “i though i could catch her.”

spencer got visibly more upset than he was before in a second. “you though you could catch her?” he asked. “she pointed a gun at your head.” his voice grew slightly louder.

you swallowed thickly and hunched down at the volume. “i didn’t get killed.” you muttered.

he scoffed, stepping away from where you sat on the vanity in amusement. his jaw was clenched hard. “that isn’t the point here. you disobeyed an order and put yourself in danger.”

your head snapped toward him. “you think i don’t know that? this job, it makes us all put ourselves in danger!” your voice rose slightly.

spencer clenched his fists at his side and breathed. “so that just gives you the right to rush into danger the second you want?” he wondered.

you slid off the vanity to stand against it instead. “if that means that we get the bad guys, then yes!”

his anger spiked, eyes widening and chest puffing out due to a heavy intake of air. “but you can’t just go off on your own whenever you want! especially when our unsub was as erratic as she was!” he explained with his hands waving in the air as a way of adding some emphases.

“i wasn’t on my own, reid! morgan was right there!” you reminded him, stepping close as he stepped back, almost bumping the wall behind him. spencer seemed to be getting more agitated by the minute, especially when you called him by his last name.

“oh, okay! so since morgan was there i guess this is okay?” he asked.

you scoffed, rolling your eyes. “no. but he didn’t listen to hotch either, so don’t put this all on me!”

“morgan isn’t here right now, so we aren’t talking about what he did,�� spencer told you, “we’re talking about what you did!” he snapped, index finger pointed at your chest.

you sighed heavily with a pang of guilt that intensified. it had been there since the case had ended. “why are you making this such a big deal? i already know that i was stupid to do what i did, i apologized to hotch, i apologized to you more than once, and i know that i risked my life. drop it.” you walked out of the bathroom into spencer’s dark apartment.

he followed on your heels, not finished with the conversation yet. “drop it?” he repeated with sarcasm. you didn’t know he knew how to use sarcasm but there it was. “i’m not going to drop this!”

“well you should!” you spun on your heels with your voice louder than you meant it to go.

spencer stopped in his tracks with evident perplexity. “why? are you telling me to not be worried about you?” he asked.

you nodded. “that’s exactly what i’m telling you, spencer! i’m safe and standing in front of you right now!” you stepped closer to him, craning your neck to look up at him. “i really expected you to act differently after this case. i thought you’d come up to me and help me or maybe hug me and say something along the lines of ‘im glad you’re alright’ but i guess not because all i got was the silent treatment.” you kept staring at his eyes.

he looked stunned and not angry for the first time this evening. “of course i’m glad you’re alright!” she snapped. “i’m glad you’re standing here right now, but it’s only because of dumb luck!”

you rolled your eyes. how was the this dense and also a genius at the same time? “no, it’s because i’m trained for this job and back there… that was me using my training. so i’m sorry i was doing exactly what i’m employed to do!” you shouted.

spencer shouted back, “so to you, doing your job means that you get to not follow orders?” he asked with heavy breaths. “do you realize how risky that is?”

“yes, i do.” you nodded, rubbing your eyes in exhaustion. “but im safe, and the monsters are in jail. that’s all that matters.”

“what about me?” he asked.

you crossed your arms. “what about you?” you wondered.

“you really don’t know what it’s like to see someone you really care about after they’ve almost died.” spencer stepped closer and his voice got quiet.

you frowned and tilted your head to the side to keep your eyes on his. he looked away at the floor. “i don’t doubt it was scary, but i’m here, spencer.” you smiled softly at him. “i’m right here.”

he let his eyes meet yours again. the inside of his cheek was held between his teeth as he contemplated what to do next. he knew he was being too hard on you but he just didn’t want to loose you. instead of opening his mouth to say something else he stepped forward and wound his arms around you, holding you against him in a tight embrace. his face hid away in the crook of your neck. your arms didn’t go around his back in a returning embrace immediately, still on alert for the fight to continue. but it didn’t. he breathed shakily before whispering, “don’t ever do that again.” his voice was low and slightly muffled by your shoulder.

“okay… okay, i won’t.” you rubbed your hands over the expanse of his back in a comforting motion.

you stood there in each others arms for a few minutes, just relishing in the feeling of being held. it was also a silent apology from both of you, a reassuring apology.

“you promise?” he asked.

you nodded, closing your eyes. “i promise.” you muttered. “just don’t yell at me again.” you told him while pulling away just enough to see him. your hands rested on his waist.

spencer nodded as he took your hands into his own, letting them hang between you both. his eyes were on the floor. “i’m sorry… i was just… still on edge from the case. i can’t stand the thought of loosing you.” he whispered.

you craned your neck in a direction so that you’d find spencer’s eyes. “you won’t loose me.” you assured him, squeezing his hands. “and i won’t do that again okay? it hurt enough as it is.” you gestured to your head a little.

he nodded as relief washed over his worried mind. he squeezed your hands a little before dropping them and wrapping his arms around your frame again. he breathed you in a few times, just to really be sure you were there. safe in his arms. safe in his apartment.

“it’s late… or early.” you pulled away slowly from him. spencer nodded with a quick brush of your hair behind your ear.

he glanced at his watch. “yeah. it’s been a long day and you need all the rest you can get.” he told you.

you nodded. “will sleeping make my gash heal faster?” your hand was in his as you lead him to his bedroom.

spencer nodded. “actually yes, getting good amounts of sleep can assure your hormones will rebuild that broken tissue because cortisol levels lower while your asleep.” he replied, rambling with information that made you smile.

“okay, boy genius,” he pulled a face at the same carried on by the whole BAU team, “let’s get to sleep then.”

he nodded and followed you with getting changed out of your clothes and climbing into his bed with the comforter pulled up to her nose. he grinned at you while he laid in front of you, hand searching to hold yours under the covers.

you pulled spencer’s hand to your lips. “night, doctor reid.” you murmured, tiredly teasing him.

he smiled at that and closed his eyes. “good night.”

#dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #angst #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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joeloverture · 9 months ago

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fair's fair | pervy!dbf!joel x f!reader

masterlist | notifs blog

pairing: pervy!dbf!joel x pervy!f!reader summary: [no outbreak] joel shoves you in his sweaty pits as a 'joke'. warnings: (18+ mdni) pervy!dbf!joel, age gap (early to mid 20s/38), somewhat mutual pining & sexual tension, joel in a wifebeater and jorts, reader has hair, smacking joel's ass like god intended, degradation, sweaty!joel, musk kink, armpit kink!!!, coming untouched, joel calls reader 'kiddo', 2 spanks, m!masturbation [no use of y/n] word count: 2.1k a/n: in another life, i'd be sorry for this fic. in this life, i am not. as always, a shoutout to the effervescent @lovesickonmybed for moodboard curation + creating this au. love to @seventeenpins for taking a glimpse at this + inspiring me. ty esquire team.... hooooly shit. pls suspend your disbelief if you can't come untouched we're here for a good time not a realistic one. btw you're all pussies for chickening out of the pit fics you 'planned' to write after this esquire photo fell into our laps /j

You awake to a rattling crash on the other side of the wall that you share with your dad’s combination garage/man cave. With an exaggerated groan, you peel yourself out of your creased sheets. Maybe the raccoons that have been terrorizing your garbage cans have finally broken into the garage. You’re still in your pajamas — a low-cut tank top and some bloomers that are entirely too short on you — when you rub the sleep from your eyes and shove your feet into your slippers to investigate.

The house is quieter than dust so early in the morning. Your dad’s out at work, and the rest of the neighborhood is just beginning to wake up. There’s the tstststststs of the Adler’s sprinkler system and the birds are chirping. In the mudroom, you snatch up a broom and wrap your fist around it. You listen through the paneling of the door for any hissing or scuttling, but hear nothing. You are not looking to get rabies today.

You poke your head out of the door, broom pointed at the ground like a staff. Immediately, you’re blinded by a slice of sunshine cutting through the very much open garage.

You’re about two seconds away from sprinting back inside to call 911 when you see the unkempt, sunkissed hair of none other than Joel Miller.

You set the broom gently back against the wall. Joel’s not a threat – at least not to anything but that traitor between your legs. He’s just your dad’s buddy; drinking buddy, fishing buddy, jack-of-all-trades buddy. He’s also no stranger to those borderline goo-goo eyes you give him. How could you not? He’s just so broad and muscled and God, you swear up and down that you stare more at his ass than anyone has ever stared at yours.

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, he’ll even give you shit about it. Bending over directly in your line of sight at block parties, ‘play wrestling’ with you on the dock by the lake whenever you jokingly call him an old man, or, in one very special instant, giving your ass a smack that sent you into an hours long tizzy.

You deserve to give him shit about it, too.

After all, he’s the one ferreting around in your dad’s garage in the wee hours of the morning. You pad into the garage, footsteps muffled by your slippers as you navigate around your dad’s pickup. You catch a better look at Joel when you pass the truck bed. And, for better or for worse, he’s dressed like a slut.

His ribbed white wifebeater stretches over his wide chest, grass stains scattered along the small of his back. Sweat darkens the hems of his shirt under his armpits, glistening and beading on the back of his neck, too. In true dad fashion, he even has on jorts. He’s bent over your dad’s tool bench, thumbing around an assortment of screwdrivers. His denim-covered ass sticks out. A smile spreads across your face.

You slip around the truck and take soft step after soft step until you’re right behind him. You can’t help but notice a cocktail of his pheromones and B.O. surrounding him. He must’ve been outside for a while now with all of the stains he’s accumulated on his shirt already. You keep your breathing muted so he can’t hear you as you reach out and — smack!

Joel shrieks, shooting upright. His head slams into the shelf overhead and a few bolts go toppling onto the concrete below. He cusses like a sailor as his hand goes up to rub the back of his head, nursing where a lump will probably be in a few hours time. Joel whips around to see you, smothering your giggles behind your hand. “You little shit,” he huffs, still scratching at his head. You don’t miss how his cheeks are firetruck red. “The fuck are ya doin’?”

“Me? The fuck are you doing, Miller? Stomping around my dad’s garage at, like, the asscrack of dawn–”

“Nine in the mornin’ ain’t the asscrack of dawn, sweetcheeks,” Joel says. Then, he holds up a set of pliers. “Mower shit the bed. I’m thinkin’ Sarah stole my pliers to make necklaces, but she hasn’t fessed up yet. Your pops said I could borrow his.” He stretches, giving you a long whiff of his scent. The groan he lets out stirs something in your stomach, much to your chagrin.

“I think the mower is the least of your worries,” you say, wrinkling your nose. “You reek. Shower shit the bed, too?”

“You try doin’ yard work in 90 degree heat, kiddo. See how much you smell like that strawberry raspberry peach whatever-the-fuck soap you’re usin’.”

You roll your eyes so hard you’re surprised you don’t see the back of your skull. “Rosemary eucalyptus,” you correct under your breath.

“Hmm, what was that?” Joel asks, tossing the pliers down onto the workbench. “Gotta speak up.”

“Rosemary eucalyptus,” you say. “But I bet you wouldn’t know. What do you use? 18 in 1?”

Joel grunts. “Real funny.” He takes a step closer to you, lips taut with a smirk. “How ‘bout you find out?”

You don’t have time to question what the hell he means – he just cups the back of your head with one of his wide palms and shoves your face directly into his closest sweaty pit. “Mmmmph!” you protest, mouth sealed shut against the thatch of hair that’s spattered across his skin. You hold your breath for as long as you can, but eventually, you’re forced to suck in a breath through your squished nose. His musk, sweet and just as sharp, fills your airways. Your clit all but jerks between your legs in humiliation, drawing a whine out of your throat.

Joel chuckles, ruffling your hair. It’s enough to make your thighs clench. “You’re a little freak, huh?” He presses harder on the back of your head, so much so that you almost get a mouthful of his underarm.

“Youuu dick!” you try to say without opening your mouth too far. It comes out muffled against his sweat-pearled skin. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to push him off of you.

Another wry chuckle comes from above. Joel bends his arm so that his elbow is wrapped around the back of your head, effectively trapping you in his funk. “Come on, huff ‘em. Practically fuckin’ asking for it earlier, all ‘a that mouthin’ off. So now you get a mouthful of my pits. Fair’s fair, kiddo.”

Embarrassment ribbons through your body, the kind that makes you leak into your panties against your will. Still looking for a way out, you squirm against his ironclad hold.

It’s only good for making him land a heavy-hitting slap across your ass. You yelp, a new wave of slick saturating the drenched gusset of your panties. You jump where you are, hips bucking into nothing – for escape or pressure, you’re not entirely sure. “Unless you wanna go over my knee instead?” Your face sears with humiliation.

Tentatively, you snuffle a bit against his pit, biting into your cheeks at his musk. It makes you cough a little bit – he’s been carrying the smell of cutting grass and his own sweat all morning.

“Yeah, thought so. But you can do better than that, sweetcheeks. I said huff, not fake an asthma attack.” You whimper, this time sucking in a longer breath. Here he is, holding you down, secure against his pit as you're left with no other option than to take what he gives you, when he gives it to you. All you can smell, feel, touch is just Joel, Joel, Joel. It makes you lightheaded.

Your clit is practically a kickdrum between your thighs, pulsing and doing more work than your head. You try to angle yourself so that you can rub your clit against Joel’s leg, but he puts a stop to that real quick. “Gettin’ all wound up just from being where ya belong, your pretty little face in my pit?” You mewl, reaching for Joel’s sides. You bunch your fists in the fabric of his wifebeater, and he allows it.

“Since you’re so eager to complain about it, how ‘bout you clean me up, huh?” He nudges his pit against your face again, and, confusedly, you furrow your brows. You can’t see much of him, but you do see the edge of his mouth tip up in satisfaction. “You got rocks for brains? Lick, kiddo.”

Hesitance drives the soft kitten lick of your tongue, swiping up and down across a very small portion of his pit. He loosens up on his grip on you, giving you the slightest bit more reign. You try to tell yourself that you’re scared of what he might do if you disappoint him, but hell if you don’t want this as much as he does, tongue, nose, face buried in his pits. Some sort of ultimate form of worship between the two of you.

You lave your tongue across his pit, eyes fluttering with each stroke. You swirl it in the crease of his arm, sucking his goddamn hairs clean with the fervor you’ve picked up. Enthused now, you bob your head up and down. Your clit responds, throbbing with a heartbeat of its own.

You’re panting, inhaling and exhaling him, lapping up his musk like a fucking dog, gone from reluctant to eager. Your clit twitches faster and faster, and you swear that arousal must be tacky on the insides of your thighs, leaking through your panties all over the front of your bloomers, but you can’t do anything about it. You can’t even grind against Joel – you can only slurp against his armpit, something like desperation having replaced all of your previous mortification from when he’d shoved you there in the first place.

You’re so preoccupied with pleasing him that you don’t even notice the thumping of your clit, picking up speed and pressure. Your body seizes in between your greedy little licks. You feel yourself weaken before you stiffen.

And maybe it’s the way Joel keeps groaning with each movement of your tongue. It could be how he exhales, “Kiddo,” in a raspy voice, both demeaning and endearing all at once. But in the end, it’s how he says, “Mmmm, such a good goddamn tongue. Bet it’d feel so good on my cock,” that breaks the dam between your legs.

You shudder, coming completely undone with little moans and whimpers in Joel’s arms without so much as a hand on your clit, just your face smothered in his pit. Drool runs down your lips and across your chin as you jerk and weaken in his grasp. If you weren’t so underwater, so far gone, you’d be able to hear him saying, “Fuck – whoa, whoa, whoa,” trying to stop you from falling on your ass in the middle of the garage. His hands card across your sides as he props you up against the workbench. Your vision blackens at the edges from the intensity of your orgasm, and you’re still coming, at least you think you are, when you blink yourself back to awareness. You’re wide-eyed, tears brimming at your waterline, incapacitated in a way that you didn’t know you could be.

“Holy shit,” you gasp when you finally fully come to, slumped over the workbench, still half-clinging to Joel. “Fuck.”

Joel looks stunned, looking you up and down as if he can’t get enough of you. His eyes land right between your thighs, where, sure enough, you’ve ruined your bloomers. You still feel like deadweight, and you struggle to stand upright. You’re not sure you’ve ever come so hard even with someone’s hands all over your. Joel’s glistening with even more sweat, and it’s impossible to miss the glaring bulge in his shorts. He clears his throat after a minute. “Oughta go get cleaned up before your daddy gets back for his lunch break, kiddo.”

You stumble upright, drenched in sweat yourself now, Joel’s lingering scent still pervading every breath you take. “Y-yeah,” you manage, nodding. You feel out of your own body, stumbling towards the door. You’re so wet that you can feel it with every goddamn step. Fuck Joel Miller, cocky piece of sh–

You’re immediately returned to your own body by the resounding swat Joel lands on your ass. You jump, shooting a glare over your shoulder. He puts his hands up, pleading innocence.

You’re not surprised when you crawl out of your shower, smelling of rosemary eucalyptus and dripping water all over the floor, only to see Joel’s mower abandoned in the middle of his yard. Even worse, you aren’t surprised in the slightest when you squint through your bedroom window, Joel sprawled out across his bed, hips bucking in-time with his fist before catching your eye and spraying ropes of cum all over his abdomen.

You mouth at him through the window with a taunting little wink, Clean yourself up this time.

#oh what i wouldnt give to get lost in that mans bottomless pits #vetty's words 𓇢𓆸 #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller/reader #joel miller fic #joel miller smut

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violetwolfraven · 2 months ago

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Wait wait wait remember that post about how Team Starkid/the Lang brothers are going to be comparable to Shakespeare 500 years from now and it was mostly played for laughs like yeah lol you’ll need a paragraph of footnotes to explain the zefron poster but like

I don’t think that’s actually far off from how Starkid’s place in theatre history might play out and here’s why. Just hear me out

Why is Shakespeare so popular today when he definitely wasn’t the only playwright from that era? When he’s not even the only playwright from that era from England that we have surviving works from?

Two main reasons:

1) Shakespeare’s work is (relatively) universally relatable. The characters do things that are so fundamentally human. They make jokes at their friends’ expense. They complain about being awkward in front of their crush. They have daddy issues. The plot lines of the plays aren’t too complicated. The dick jokes land whether you’re watching in 1611 or 2024, and they probably still will in 2637. Shakespeare’s works are timeless because he didn’t try to outsmart his audience. He wrote about things everyone could relate to rather than trying too hard to peacock his intellect in front of the nobility. This is not true of every playwright.

2) Shakespeare was really popular right around the time England started colonizing everything in sight. Copies of his work got shipped all around the world, translated into dozens of languages, performed probably thousands of times. Setting aside the moral implications of this, the important thing to note is that Shakespeare was about the most easily accessible English playwright during a time of rapid, intense globalization.

Meanwhile, Starkid:

1) Invests hard in meaningful, relatable character arcs instead of spectacle and expensive sets or costumes. Also, lowbrow, immature humor and dick jokes that make A Very Potter Sequel funny and enjoyable regardless of if you’ve ever seen any other Harry Potter media in your life.

2) Posts professional recordings of their musicals to YouTube FOR FREE, making their shows about the easiest, best quality musical theatre you can get pretty much anywhere in the world, regardless of if your area has an active theatre scene. Proshots from other companies are rare and usually not free. Bootlegs are all well and good, but even if the video quality is alright (and that’s a big if) the audio is usually garbage. Starkid has been posting the best quality free recordings they can afford since 2009, shortly after the birth of social media, another time of rapid, intense globalization.

In short, I’m not saying that theatre historians in 500 years won’t remember any our current Broadway faves, but I am saying that in my opinion, Team Starkid is probably going to be more accessible for the general public. If you’re a 26th century English teacher trying to teach your class about narrative structure in 21st century theatre, what are you going to show your students? A bootleg of Hadestown with blurry video and garbage audio? Or the professional recording of Twisted, parts of which they will probably even enjoy, because even long after no one remembers Disney’s Aladdin anymore, your class of 26th century 16-year-olds are still going to laugh at “No One Remembers Achmed.”

#oof i really wrote an essay about this #like feel free to disagree this is just my opinion #team starkid #starkid #musical theatre #theatre #twisted #a very potter musical #a very potter sequel #a very potter senior year #holy musical b@man #trail to oregon #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday #nerdy prudes must die

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ginnsbaker · 17 days ago

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All Of Your Pieces (8 - The Other Side)

Chapter Summary: After a drone attempts to eliminate her in her own home, Wanda emerges from the Hex to give Hayward's team their only warning. You, on the other hand, is left to figure things out on your own. Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader Chapter word count: 3.2k+ | Chapter Tags/Warnings: None

A/N: I know what we've established in the previous chapters, so hold onto your seats. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! // More author's notes here.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

They reach the Command Center just in time to see Hayward’s plan laid bare: eliminate Wanda Maximoff. It’s not surprising—they’d suspected as much after days camped outside the anomaly—but now it’s undeniable. Hayward wasn’t stalling or hesitating; he was waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

The operation is set to launch in sixty seconds. Too little time to stop it, even with a former Avenger in the room. Clint doesn’t believe for a second that Hayward’s plan will succeed—Wanda isn’t just powerful, she’s impossibly powerful—but he knows letting this play out unchecked will only make things worse. If they don’t intervene, the attack will escalate, pushing Wanda further into anger and fear, and the walls of her Hex will only grow stronger.

“What the hell is this?” Monica demands, pushing past agents to get closer.

On the screens, live drone footage hovers ominously above Wanda's house within the Hex.

Hayward barely glances at her. “We're taking a proactive approach.”

Clint shakes his head, a wry smile playing on his lips. “He’s about to poke a bear with a stick, and we’re all gonna feel it.”

“Hayward!” Monica yells, catching the attention of everyone in the room, but Hayward pays her no heed.

Darcy, meanwhile, frantically taps her tablet then sighs in frustration. “I can’t override the launch. He’s locked everyone out.”

Jimmy heads toward the console center, but suddenly two agents step in front of him, hands resting on their holstered guns.

“Maybe we can warn Wanda?” Darcy surmises.

“There’s no time,” Clint says grimly.

On the monitors, they see Wanda stepping out of her home, carrying a bag of garbage to the curb. The drone's camera zooms in, locking its target. You follow her outside, noticing the drone immediately.

“Wanda?” you murmur, looking up at the night sky where the drone's signal lights blink like distant stars. “What is that?”

“Y/N, get back inside,” Wanda says in that low, dangerous tone—familiar somehow, even though you can't recall ever hearing it before. Instinctively, you feel the urge to protect her, even though between the two of you, you're the one more likely to get hurt in situations like this.

Outside, they watch in shock as you step in front of your wife, despite her urging you to flee back inside the house. Panic surges through Monica in particular, realizing the potential casualties might not be just one, but two. And who knows how powerful the missile inside that drone is? There are kids sleeping soundly in your home, for God's sake!

“She's not a threat! You're making a huge mistake—”

“Take the shot,” Hayward commands the drone control team.

“Hayward, please!” Monica implores, her plea causing the operator's hand to waver, hesitating for just a fraction of a second. “Look, she's not alone! You're putting civilians at risk—”

That hesitation shreds the last of Hayward's patience. “Take the shot now!” he bellows.

“No!” Monica shouts, lunging forward, but agents hold her back.

Clint also rushes forward, but more agents block his path.

On the screens, a blinding flash of light erupts, then everything turns to static. Around the room, faces turn white as everyone exchanges uneasy looks, silently wondering if they've just caused a catastrophe. The Command Center is dead silent, charged with a nameless fear that grips everyone like a vise.

Then, an agent strides in, panic etched across his face. “Sir, we've got a breach.”

Clint exchanges a look with Monica. “She's coming,” he says quietly.

—

It all happened too fast.

One moment, you’re standing beside Wanda, braced for whatever threat the drone overhead might bring. Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changes.

You’re alone, standing in front of your house.

“Wanda!” you cry out. Panic clenches your chest like a vice as your eyes dart wildly across the empty street. She has to be around here somewhere. She has to be safe.

You race back inside the house, but you’re careful not to make too much noise this time and wake up the twins upstairs. The house is still. Dinner is still spread across the counter, the kitchen light still glowing, but there’s no trace of your wife.

Rushing back outside, you scan the street, looking for any sign of movement. A few houses down, you spot Agnes in her front yard and—weirdly enough—watering her plants like it’s any other night.

You jog over. “Agnes, have you seen Wanda?”

She looks up, startled, then smiles. “Oh, hey! Haven’t seen her. Everything alright?”

“I don’t know,” you say, trying to keep the trepidation out of your voice. “She was just here, and now she’s gone.”

Agnes cocks her head, her smile fixed in place, unfazed, like the world around her isn’t fraying at the edges. Like this—all of this—is perfectly normal. You thought you could handle it, that you’d made peace with the strangeness of everything, but right now, it’s making your skin crawl.

“I’m sure she’s fine, dear. You know Wanda—always off doing something,” Agnes says, light and casual, like she’s commenting on the weather.

“Yeah, I guess,” you mumble, though the assurance does little to ease your mind as your eyes continue to frantically wander, hoping against hope that Wanda might suddenly step out from one of them, smiling like none of this ever happened.

But she doesn’t.

You start walking back toward the house. She’s fine. She’s fine. She’s not fine. The rhythm builds and builds inside you like boiling water, until the panic buzzing at the base of your skull becomes impossible to ignore.

At the driveway, you stop. For one long, stretched-out moment, you hesitate. Then instinct takes over.

Your hand digs into your pocket, fingers curling around the cold metal of your car keys. You’re already moving, already yanking open the car door before you’ve fully decided what you’re going to do.

Just as you’re about to climb in, Agnes appears, moving faster than you’ve ever seen her move before, her cardigan flapping around her like wings.

“Where are you going?” she demands, breathless.

“I'm going to look for my wife.”

Agnes frowns. “Look for her where?”

“I don't know,” you sigh, one hand braced on the car door, the other gripping the keys tight enough to leave imprints on your palm. “But I'll scour the ends of this town if I have to.”

—

At the southern boundary of Westview, Hayward's men are already assembled, a line of armed agents standing at attention with their weapons trained on the elusive barrier of the Hex. The alarms continue to blare. They don’t know what’s coming, but they’re all on the front lines, waiting to find out.

Clint hangs back, his expression grim as he waits for Wanda. He hadn’t expected the girl they’d practically adopted from Sokovia to still carry so much darkness—a side of her that rears its head through the cracks when she’s at her lowest.

He can't stop questioning why you ever chose to let Wanda believe you’re dead. But he figures that’s your burden to bear. His own regret is not being there for Wanda after Tony’s funeral. With Vision also gone, he feels he should have stayed closer.

Part of him can’t shake the feeling that he’s failed her somehow.

For Clint, it had been five long years of grieving for the family he thought he’d lost forever. Once he was reunited with them, all he wanted was to put his Avenger days behind him and catch up on lost time, which he did. But when he heard about Wanda's situation in New Jersey, he couldn't just stay away. Steve and Nat would’ve done the same.

The barrier sparks like a live wire as a shadow begins to materialize behind it. Moments later, everyone watches with bated breath as Wanda Maximoff steps through, dragging the drone behind her with one hand. She strides ominously forward, indifferent to the dozen infrared lasers trained on her body.

“Is this yours?” Wanda yells. Without waiting for an answer, she flings the drone, sending it crashing down toward Hayward's feet. It skids across the coarse grass, stopping just short of him.

“The missile was just a precaution,” Hayward says coolly. “You can hardly blame us, Wanda.”

“Oh, I think I can.”

Clint chooses this moment to reveal himself among the crowds. He’s not sure whether it will placate Wanda or anger her further, but he knows he has to try—not for their benefit, but for hers.

“Wanda,” he calls out gently.

“Clint,” Wanda breathes out, taken aback. For a second, she looks stunned, as if the thought of someone from her old circle stepping in hadn't crossed her mind. They know her, understand her motives—or at least, they should. “So they sent you, too?”

“No one sent me,” he assures her, taking another careful step closer. “I came because I was worried about you.”

“Funny way of showing it,” she scoffs, nodding toward the agents with their weapons drawn.

Monica steps out from behind one of the vehicles, hands raised in a placating gesture. “Wanda."

Recognition dawns on Wanda’s face, her lips curling into a half-amused, half-impressed smile. After how forcefully she ejected Monica from Westview, she hadn't expected her to come back.

“You’re still here,” she mutters warily.

“Please, let’s just talk,” Monica urges.

“Not interested.”

“We want to help you through this, Wanda,” Clint tries.

Wanda lets out a hollow laugh. “Help me? Like you helped me after everything was taken from me?” After the funeral, they all went their own way—back to work, back to their families. And Wanda had—

She had no one to go back to.

“I’m sorry,” Clint murmurs, his eyes dropping to the ground. “I should've been there. I'm sorry.”

Wanda purses her lips. “Sorry doesn't bring them back.”

Monica walks up to Clint’s side. “I know what it's like to lose someone. To feel that emptiness.”

Wanda’s voice becomes a cold whisper. “You don't know anything about me.”

Clint stops for a moment, the implication of her words just occuring to him. “Wait. Them?”

Wanda doesn’t answer him. With a simple wave of her hand, Hayward’s snipers, who had their sights on her, suddenly swivel their rifles toward him instead. He instantly throws up his hands in surrender.

“This will be your only warning,” Wanda says coldly. “Stay out of my home.”

“Wait!” Clint tries again, but it’s too late. Wanda has already turned away.

Hayward's arms stay in the air, a stricken look on his face as he orders his men to stand down, but not a single one of them listens. They only manage to snap out of it the moment the Hex re-absorbs Wanda Maximoff.

—

You do exactly what you told Agnes you'd do and drive toward the edge of town.

As you go, things start getting…weirder. The farther you get from the center, the stranger things become. People are outside their homes, but they're not moving. A woman hangs laundry on a line, her arms frozen mid-air. A kid stands with a basketball, paused in the act of dribbling. They are like living statues.

“What the hell is going on?” you mutter under your breath, your knuckles white against the steering wheel. You ease the car to a stop by the curb, with only the sound of the running engine the other sign of life aside from you.

Cautiously, you approach the frozen figures for closer inspection. They're not just still—they're vacant. Their eyes stare straight ahead, unfocused and glassy, like mannequins propped up in a storefront window. You wave a hand in front of a man's face, but he doesn't blink.

Stumbling back, fear rises in you. “Wanda!”

But there's no answer. There’s only your own labored breathing. No birds soar overhead, no butterflies flit through the gardens—none of the life you’re accustomed to near your home. There’s not even a whisper of wind. It feels like the air’s been sucked out of the place.

You get back in the car and keep driving. Houses thin out, streets get emptier. Soon, you're at the town's edge. That's when you see it—a faint shimmer in the void ahead. It ripples subtly, like a mirage or heat haze.

Frowning, you park and walk toward the strange phenomenon. As you go nearer, you see sparks dancing through a grid-like pattern. Reaching out cautiously, you touch it, and a jolt runs up your arm. It’s not painful, but it’s definitely not welcoming either.

“What the hell is this?” you whisper.

Without fully thinking it through, you decide to push forward. There's resistance at first, like walking through thick mud, but suddenly you break through.

On the other side, the world is completely different.

—

Wanda returns home, closing the door softly behind her and letting out a quiet sigh.

She sinks onto the couch, burying her face in her hands. The sheer force of the urge she'd felt—to just wipe them all out, to eliminate any threat to her family—left her shaken. It wasn't like her, or at least she didn't think it was. She knows if that drone had reached you before she intervened, she would have pulled the trigger. The darkness that surged up inside her scared her. Is this who she's becoming? Perhaps being a bit hardened is necessary if it means keeping you and the boys safe. After all, being innocuous only ever stripped away everything she held dear.

She tries to shake it off, taking a deep breath as she makes her way upstairs. First things first: check on the twins. Pushing open their bedroom door, she finds them fast asleep, the steady rise and fall of their chests bringing her a small measure of peace. They're safe.

But as she moves through the house, calling your name, she realizes you're nowhere to be found. Trying to keep her cool, she steps outside, only to find the neighborhood just as empty and silent.

Except for Agnes, who's out watering her garden at a very unusual hour.

“Agnes?” Wanda calls out as she walks over.

Agnes looks up, a friendly smile on her face. “Hey, neighbor! Can’t sleep either?”

“Have you seen Y/N?”

Agnes hums, thinking it over. “Actually, I did see her earlier.”

“You did? When? Where did she go?”

“Just a little while ago,” Agnes replies casually. “She mentioned she was heading to the edge of town to look for you.”

Color drains from Wanda's face. “She went to the boundary?”

“Yes, she seemed quite determined—”

Without waiting for Agnes to finish, Wanda turns abruptly. She rises off the ground, levitating effortlessly. She doesn't care if Agnes sees her powers or if anyone else is watching. The only thing that matters now is getting to you before it’s too late.

“Please be okay,” she murmurs under her breath, repeating it like a mantra, synced to the frantic beating of her heart.

—

Dozens of people in black uniforms, faces smudged with exhaustion, stand scattered across a patchwork base of canvas tents, armored vehicles, and machinery that doesn’t belong in a small town like Westview. They freeze when they see you—every single one of them—like you’re a ghost that wandered in from the wrong side of reality.

“T-There’s another breach!” someone yells.

You just stand there, blinking at the sea of wide eyes staring back at you. “Who are you people? What’s going on?”

No one answers. They just watch.

And then it starts.

A sensation creeps over your skin, wrong in a way that defies language. Static under your fingernails, pins and needles crawling up your veins. You glance down. Your hands are flaking away, little particles peeling off like you’re made of burnt paper.

“What the—?”

Your vision tilts. The sky feels too far away, the ground too close. The disintegration spreads—up your arms, across your chest. You hear someone shouting in the distance.

“Someone help her! She’s clearly dying!”

“Hold your ground!”

Then, through the noise, you hear it. “Y/N!” your name being called by the same voice you caught in Wanda’s broken radio.

You reach out blindly, trying to grab onto something as you continue to come apart, but your knees buckle, and you hit the ground.

It feels like you're dying.

But why? Why is this happening?

Seconds later, you can't even hold yourself up anymore. You collapse onto all fours, watching helplessly as pieces of you start to drift away like dust in the wind.

“Wanda…” you whisper, and then everything around you goes dark.

—

Wanda senses it first—a noticeable diminishment of your presence where it used to be strong, as if a part of her is fading away with it. A sense of dread fills her as she looks toward the edge of town. From her vantage point above Westview, she spots your car abandoned near the boundary with its headlights still on.

“No,” she breathes, her eyes turning red as she tries to search for you past the invisible barrier.

Desperation propels her forward as she flies toward you, the wind whipping through her hair. But no matter how fast she moves, she feels you slipping away, bit by bit.

That’s when she spots you, lying on the ground, crumbling the way she did five years ago.

“No, no, no,” Wanda cries, pushing herself to go faster. But deep down, she knows she won't reach you in time.

She stops mid-air. There's only one thing left to do. Closing her eyes, she gathers every ounce of her power. Scarlet energy crackles around her hands, growing brighter and more powerful. With a fierce cry, she releases it, sending a surge of magic outward.

The Hex trembles and then starts to expand, pushing outward. Houses, trees, streets—all get swallowed as the boundary moves to encompass more area. The strain is immense, but she doesn't care. All that matters is pulling you back, keeping you within the safe confines of the world she's created. Tears blur her vision, but she keeps her focus, watching as the red glow envelops your car, hoping it's not too late.

“Come back to me,” Wanda murmurs, willing the Hex to bring you home.

—

“Where are you going?” Monica calls after Clint, chasing him down as he strides toward his truck. Behind them, the team is scattered, hollow-eyed and dazed—they just watched you stumble out of the Hex, your body coming apart like sand slipping through an hourglass. Morale isn’t just low; it’s subterranean. Hayward's back at the S.W.O.R.D. base, probably scheming his next move, but right now, everyone’s flailing in the dark.

Clint digs through his pockets for his keys. “There’s something I need to check out,” he mutters.

“Like what? Does it have to do with… whatever that was?” Monica asks, her voice strained. “With Darcy gone into the Hex, Jimmy and I are—honestly, I don’t even know what we’re supposed to do.”

“I can’t explain yet. Not until I know for sure,” he says, avoiding her gaze. He's racked with a hit of guilt for leaving Monica in the lurch, especially when she and Jimmy are already scraping by without Darcy.

But he swears he’s leaving for a reason.

Monica nods, her face drawn. “Are you coming back?”

Clint exhales, long and slow. “I was hoping this would clear up fast. But it doesn’t look good. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Be careful out there,” she says, her voice quieter now.

“You too. Stay sharp.”

Before Monica can head back to camp, Clint beeps his truck, pulling her attention back. She turns, looking over her shoulder and waits.

“Deep down, Wanda’s a good person, you know?” Clint says, unsure of his point but feeling compelled to speak up for Wanda.

Monica gives him a small, tired smile before walking away.

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savanir · 3 months ago

Text

Death of the Father, Death of the Son

Part 2

part 1 is here and the og prompt can be found here again thanks for the prompt @mynameisjag as you can see I am not done with it yet

The aftermath of the gala was an absolute disaster in Jazz’s humble opinion.

At first she didn’t know what to think…

When they wheeled out the body bag that supposedly had Vlad’s corpse in it, it just didn’t feel real.

Everything became a lot more real when her mom got back from her trip to the forensic lab, It really was Vlad. The GCPD went through this whole identification of the body process, everyone was already pretty damn sure for obvious reasons but they had to follow protocol. Elaborate time wasting in Jazz’s humble opinion.

Jazz stares at her phone while sitting in the overly expensive fancy hotel room fauteuil. All of a sudden she no longer really minded that Vlad had given them all their own private hotel room, the girl wasn’t stupid… She knew he did it in the hopes that her mom would magically change her mind about him and this way she wouldn’t get in the way. Interrupt them. Whatever.

But now it just gives her privacy and room to think. And think she does, thinking is all she seems able to do now.

This whole mess is just great rep for Gotham… ‘out of town millionaire gets assassinated on their first night in the city. zero hesitation’

People are mass sharing all the leaked dirt on Vlad on social media with the hashtag #Welcome to Gotham.

At the very least any potential harassment towards her or her mom was nipped in the bud once it became widespread that Vlad had actually hired some guy to kill her dad.

Ancients…

He hired a mercenary, some assassin, to kill her dad. Jazz vividly remembers when Danny would vent about the things Plasmius would threaten him with. but she always figured he did it to rile her brother up.

For some reason she could believe the whole making her brother his son thing, just like she got the marrying her mom thing. And yet she never thought he would actually follow through on the murdering her dad thing.

…And what does this mean for Danny?

her phone is still blowing up but the only people she actually responds to are Sam and Tucker. Sam is mostly worried, asking how they are holding up and if she needs to come over and kick some corrupt police butt, or overly pushy paparazzi butt, or just nosy people in general butt. The offer is sweet but Jazz already saw how her mom verbally tore the rumour about a ‘battered wife/gold digger’ situation apart with facts and logic, so she’s not worried.

Jazz supposes that’s a good thing that somehow came out of all this… her mom got some of her spark back.

Meanwhile Tucker is all in the GCPD systems and sharing the results of the police investigation with the rest of the team.

because of that Jazz knows that the Bats have already shown up to do their own brand of investigating, and also that the police don’t know shit.

It figures… The police also didn’t know shit when her dad was murdered and Danny got kidnapped. And they were all too happy to accept the fake dead Danny that got found in the forest, welp, kid found, he’s dead, case closed.

useless.

It’s been several days now and it’ll probably take another week or so before something concrete gets brought to the public.

Jazz thought she might get a vigilante visit at some point but they haven’t shown up yet. At least not to ask her anything… who knows maybe they have already spoken with her mom and she simply decided not to tell her as to not distress her or something, that would make sense.

—✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*---*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧—

It’s late in the evening now but she checked up on her mom earlier that day, she had been furiously going through all the things Vlad had gifted her and tossing them in a tiny and overly full garbage can.

“Jazzikins, once this whole thing is over we should head straight to his Wisconsin estate and burn it to the ground” Jazz can already see the fire burning in her mom’s eye, she’s completely serious.

“that will probably be extremely suspicious and get us in a lot of trouble mom” It would be very cathartic though, she will admit that.

Jazz had sat down and watched her mom go about her business, exorcizing Vlad from her life perhaps.

Eventually her mom sighed and asked, “how long do we still have to stay in this awful place?”

"We have to be available for the GCPD because they are still doing their investigation. They will most likely still have some questions, and i want to make sure there will be no misunderstandings with the notary later as well"

"That's my smart girl" Maddie pinches Jazz's cheek, "what do they still even have to investigate... though, perhaps it would be a good thing if they found his killer, that way I might be able to thank them myself"

Jazz winces, "Mom..."

"You're too sweet jazzy, you got that from your father" Maddie gives Jazz a kiss on the forehead before she goes back to what she was doing before.

Internally Jazz disagrees with her, she doesn't feel bad for Vlad at all, she's just looking at the bigger picture because she has info nobody else does.

Whoever killed Vlad was prepared to kill a halfa... and the implications of that fact terrify her and give her hope at the same time.

Danny is still out there somewhere, but he's most likely being exploited in some way.

—✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*---*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧—

And here she is, still staring at her phone, refreshing the feed and gradually feeling more worse as she skims the headlines.

the psychiatrist in her is telling her she’s doom scrolling and it’s unhealthy, what is she even looking for here? If the authorities identify the killer, will they even tell her? Tell her mom? they probably would to ‘aid with the grieving process’. but that tends to only happen when they have actually caught the killer.

And who knows when that will happen.

This is pointless anyway, if something useful gets found out Tucker will most likely be the first to know out of all of them.

Jazz refreshes the feed again.

nobody seems to think a Gotham rogue did it, they would have made it a spectacle.

No, all the theories seem to think it was most likely the work of underground crime syndicates, or Vlad pissed someone off in some other country while doing business, and Gotham was simply the easiest place to get him killed, even though now the Bats are on the case. or, or…

She groans, gets up and makes herself some tea when she hears it. She’s turned around with the Fenton Anti-Creep stick raised and ready before she really knows what she’s doing and she sees two figures emerge from the shadows. Big and small. Batman and Robin.

Robin pointedly looks at the creep stick, batman disregards it entirely, "we would like to ask some questions"

Jazz looks at batman and then at Robin and then just sighs, grabs her tea, accepts that this is happening, sits down with the stick ready to go at any time and says, "go ahead"

Robin takes a strategic spot closer to the window, perched on the back of the gaudy couch for some reason and Batman gets closer perhaps to loom over her more? But he also sticks to the shadows, perhaps to make her feel a bit less intimidated with the distance? She decides to just stop thinking about it from that point on.

Batman goes over the statements Jazz already gave to the police, she mostly focuses on her drink while she elaborates on some of the things she said, but eventually…

“Most people seem to think this was an act of revenge but when the police asked you what you think the reason is why Masters got murdered you simply stated you don’t know, judging by the footage of the interrogation you were agitated”

Jazz frowns, “it had been a long day, at the time I wanted it to be over with”

“These statements are vital, especially from close acquaintances”

Her jaw tightens, “so you would like me to give a proper answer now?”

Batman stays quiet,

“The revenge part is obvious, but I just don’t think that’s all there is to it. I think someone wanted shut him up”

“and why would you think that?”

Jazz thinks very carefully and makes a decision.

“Vlad was not an easy man to kill…” she trails off, still thinking about how she’s going to explain this one properly, without revealing everything.

Batman stays quiet again, Robin however pipes up, “Because he’s rich?”

She had basically forgotten he was there and there is a moment where she just blinks at him still perched on the back of the couch, “Well, as I am sure you both have seen by now he was more than capable of paying his problems to go away, but no, that’s not what I meant”

“hrn, go on”

Jazz swirls what little tea she has left and kind of wishes it was actually some kind of alcohol… even though she’s too young for that, and then she goes on, “Vlad was not human, not fully anyway, I don’t… know… exactly what his other half was-”

A lie, but Batman decides to leave it be for now, no need to interrupt the young lady here, if he were to point it out she might clam up and stop talking entirely.

"-He had gifts, one of them is intangibility, another invisibility"

They are aware that something is very different about Vladimir Masters. That much became clear when they activated the scanners they got in the forensic lab and took a good look at the corpse themselves. Those results confirmed some of the claims and accusations that everyone saw during the gala.

And it seems those close to the man knew of it as well.

Jazz goes on,

"Whoever attacked him must have been prepared for that... and considering there are only four people who know about it at all, that is… before… you know," she trails off.

"Only four" Robin mutters.

Batman glances at the boy before asking, "Who knew?"

"Uh, me. Uhm two friends of mine who are currently back in Amity Park... and my brother, Danny"

"Tt, So that's three"

"Robin-"

"My brother is not dead!" Jazz slams her hands on the table, "The monster who killed my father kidnapped him, and now they are using him! The body that was found in the woods is a fake, planted by Vlad so my mom would stop looking and focus on him instead"

"Why would he-" Robin starts to ask while keeping a careful eye on the absolute vehemence coming from Jazz. One thing is very clear to both him and Batman though, Jazz believes what she’s saying wholeheartedly.

"He was an idiot, and obsessed with my mom. That's a very long and frankly unimportant story, but the proof is all in Vlad's lab in the basement of his estate. I can proof the body that was found was fake, my brother is alive" she buries her head in her hands, suddenly all the anger seems to be replaced with sorrow,

"he's alive"

Robin shuffles uncomfortably side to side. He's gotten better at comforting distressed civilians but he's a little out of his depth right now. seeing as this is sorta his fault right now.

He looks over to his father to see what he'll do.

Batman just looks contemplative. Which isn’t useful for the boy at all.

It's then that Nightwing speaks up through the communicators to them, "B, I'll go to Amity Park and investigate both the Fenton household where the attack happened and then check out her proof at Masters estate"

Batman really doesn't like the full picture that's being painted here.

"Miss Fenton,"

Jazz rubs her hands over her face before taking a deep calming breath and giving batman her full attention again, "yes?"

"If I understand this right, you're saying you think the same assassin who took your father's life has now targeted Mr. Masters."

"Yes"

Robin shakes his head, "most assassins have some code of honor. It would certainly be a bad look to go after a former client like that"

Jazz scoffs,"Well it's been several months now. I don't know if Vlad kept in contact with that monster and managed to piss them off after the fact, that too could all be on his computers in his lab"

Batman grunts and heads for the windows and Robin hops up to follow, "You'll hear from us miss Fenton"

She lets out a shaky breath when she's sure they have well and truly left. She figures she should update Sam and Tucker that she finally got a bat visit but the urge to refresh her social media and news feed doesn't come back.

With the supposed World’s Greatest Detective on the case she’s certain actual progress will finally be made.

She just hopes it’s not too late.

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obbystars · 4 months ago

Text

Safe Haven

Synopsis: It’s not like he minds if you use his hideout as a safe spot. Just be sure to leave at the earliest convenience before they get suspicious.

Notes: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader / just a bunch of scenarios / not exactly romantic lol / practicing third person in this one. you’re not named and only referred to as expendable. / reader repeated deaths, mentions of blood and teethmarks

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

(got some dialogue that triggered when you hide in Sebastian’s shop as an angler passes by. obviously that inspired me lol. and yes this was being made while the update came out, i finally got the stupid we outta wall dwellers badge because of it. also sebastian can win against pandemonium apparently)

Sebastian was just looking through some of the documents he’s received from some of the EXR-P teams. He only just recently moved his shop so he figured it should be quiet for a while, but just as he thought of that, the lights had flickered. Not once, but twice. It was then followed up by the sound of someone running and crawling through the vent. Just a single, and familiar expendable.

They only just managed to make it inside his shop before an angler dashed by with a loud shriek. It was gone in an instant.

“A second later and I would’ve had to start cleaning out that vent,” he smirked, “Welcome back, friend,”

“Hi!” They waved as they stood up.

The one who just can’t stay dead. Of course it’s them. He’s not sure if they’re just stupid to not have reached the crystal yet despite his reluctant assist, or they have some other reason he doesn’t know about. They seemed oddly happy to see him almost every time, and they love to annoy him.

Once he started resorting to shooting them for using their flash beacon on him, they suddenly stopped and only teased him with it. They like to leave and re-enter his shop too just for the fun of it. There were times where they came in and left without buying anything but then came back and bought something.

On the bright side, they keep their distance which he’s actually glad for. They never got too close for comfort. They stay relatively near the vent when they talk to him and only approach him to grab items off his tail. As for the other teams who went much further, he should’ve just shot them.

At this point, Sebastian’s thoughts and gaze drift off elsewhere. The radio still spewing garbage noise, the piles of documents on the desk, his tail feeling awfully lighter now.

Absence of shuffling and footsteps. They’re being awfully quiet.

His fins twitch and he turns his attention back to the expendable. They got the stuff they wanted, but they’re sitting by the boxes in the far corner. They’re tired. They look like they’re dozing. It’s nothing new with them, but considering their circumstances, he thinks he’d be just as exhausted as they are. Being sent down here, dying, and doing everything all over again until they get that crystal. He wonders how they haven’t gone insane yet, or maybe they already were and they stay down here for no apparent reason.

Now that Sebastian thinks about it, a lot of the teams see his shop as a breath of fresh air from the things they had to endure. Some didn’t stay too long, while others had to be ushered out. His shop isn’t 100% safe, and they certainly aren’t safe with him. Sure it keeps them out of sight from the anglers, but he swears one of them got dragged out of the vent by a wall dweller.

Sebastian lets out a sigh and decides to go back to looking over the documents, especially the ones you placed on the desk in a separate pile. He’ll go over the flash drives with Painter if time allows it. Maybe he’ll finally have something that’ll get Urbanshade’s rivals to come over and him out of here in exchange for the assets here. Innovation hopefully.

After some time, he sees that you’re still here and closes the document he was just reading through.

“Hey, stay any longer and Urbanshade might get suspicious that they’ve lost your signal. Better get running,”

They hummed and quickly stretched out their legs and arms. They were about to leave, but he blocks the exit with his tail and clears his throat.

“I think you’re forgetting something. On the table,”

“Oh,” they laughed, “Thanks,”

He moved his tail away to let them leave, and they did just that but now without saying bye. He sighs. He’ll never understand them and their odd behavior towards him.

Sebastian had already moved shop after a few hours and along the way, found a few bodies to loot. He even found them. He took any and all he could take with him and made sure they were all fully powered with fresh new batteries. He takes one final look at them. Looks like something caught them off guard, and seeing the teeth marks over their neck, he can guess what exactly it was. He wasn’t sure if they didn’t look back on purpose or not. Part of him does want to know why they haven’t gotten to the crystal yet.

It was strange though. Usually those things leave nothing behind, but maybe they just didn’t have the chance as someone else might’ve been with them. Maybe they crossed paths at some point and decided to continue on together. It was a rare occurrence, but not impossible. There’s only so many ways to get to the crystal, after all. Seeing as the power’s still up, that other person probably didn’t get too far.

Once he found a new place that seemed good, and one that would be in the path the EXR-P would take, he organized everything and put some items on his tail. He turns off his lure for the time being. It’s not like he absolutely needs it, especially in the dark. His eyes grew accustomed to it, quite literally too.

After a few hours, he can hear the door on the other side of the vent open. One thing he’s also picked up on is that he can tell whether it’s them or not if they’re not rushing through like last time. He already knows it’s them.

“Oh hey! Get this. I found your corpse a bit ago, great haul by the way, lots of goods to pillage, took your items, replaced the batteries and voila! Good as new! Don’t worry, you can have them back for a price of course,”

They smiled as they looked up at him, “I’ve got a good haul this time. Think I’ll have those stuff back now,”

Sebastian watches them pick up the items that were originally in their possession before they died. He already noticed the flash beacon on their belt.

He can faintly hear footsteps coming from outside followed up with something crawling through the vent. He assumed at first that they didn’t come alone this time, but upon seeing the armless figure emerge, he unholstered his shotgun and didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger. The expendable almost jumped as they turned around.

“Disgusting things…”

“Oh wow, thanks for that,” they looked up at him.

“You’re seriously going to miss the fact there’s footsteps approaching again?” He gives them a smile, “Don’t worry, you’re safe in here with me. I’m joking, you’re not,”

They suddenly twirl the flash beacon in their hand and pointed it at him. He grits his teeth and points his gun to them this time.

“I dare you,”

They only laughed and stored it away on their belt, “Nah, I’ll pass. The first time was enough,”

Sebastian scoffed and holstered his gun. Before they left, they bought some batteries and refilled their flashlight and flash beacon and they remembered to pick up the key card this time. They even went out of their way to drag the wall dweller out of the shop and do god knows what with it. Hopefully dump it out into a hole or maybe even burn it. That just means less work for him.

Sebastian goes to grab the documents they left for him, but just as he did, the lights flickered and he hears them running back.

“Back so soon?” He teases.

They shrugged with a smile, but it quickly fades as the familiar sound of a broken chorus is heard. Instinctively, his hand reached for his gun as his tail covered the vent. They even moved back towards him.

This wasn’t the first time that thing passed by, and one of those times, he ran into it and managed to escape from it. No doubt that the others it consumed since then had healed the wounds he gave it, and right now, this is a bad spot to be fighting it in. It’s way too cramped and the only way out is up. It’s still narrow and doesn’t make the situation any better.

Luckily, the creature passes by without noticing. The expendable turns to him with a grin, “So. I’m not safe in here with you?”

“Not. At. All,” he points his gun to them, “I would’ve left you here if that thing saw us,”

They laughed, “Yup, I know,”

“You are shockingly okay with that, which is mildly concerning,”

“You’re not the first person to leave me behind to die, so…”

“Looks like somebody needs to find better friends,”

They shrugged and hung around the shop for a little bit longer, checking the things they just bought. Once they were done, they waved to him and leaves.

“Try not to ruin the merchandise, yeah?” He calls out.

Sebastian wonders if he’d find their body again when he moves shop again. Will it be an angler this time? Or will nothing be left to find? Now that’d be a waste. That blacklight you had could fetch him more data.

One good thing about being able to get to places Sebastian wouldn’t have originally is that he can move place to place without having to worry about Urbanshade’s guardsmen too much. The tunnels he found were always nice but navigation can be a little difficult if you don’t know where you’re going. He’s not too worried about that, however. As long as it leads him away from trouble, he’ll go with it.

Sebastian was about to drop down into the room just below until he spotted a familiar expendable crawl through the vent. He paused and watched them with a grin.

“Huh… He’s not here,” they looked around for a bit as they continued to mutter to themself, “Am I late or is he late?”

Slowly and quietly, Sebastian climbed down towards them. He was careful to not make any sound while he was at it, and he only hoped you didn’t look up. They were just within arm’s reach now. Sebastian slowly reaches out, then grabs them by the back of their neck and pulls them up to him. They let out a yelp and started squirming but stopped once they saw it was him.

“You REALLY suck at watching out for monsters, huh?”

They sighed, “Yeah yeah, you’re very funny Sebastian. Now put me down!”

“Oh sure,” instead of gently placing them back down, he dropped them from that height and they fell right on their bottom.

With the crystal container they were provided, it didn’t help cushion their fall at all. In fact, it may have made it worse. Sebastian drops down in front of them and chuckled as they groaned.

“Maybe be careful with what you wish for,”

“Ow…”

“Anyway, onto business,” he moves on, “I’ve got quite a selection for you this time,”

They push themself up, still slightly rubbing their bottom, and eventually turned to Sebastian. There was the usual light sources, black light included shockingly enough, a medkit, and… Huh.

They pointed to the flesh of a wall dweller’s jaw, “How much for that?”

Sebastian in turn gives them a very odd look, “Out of all the things I have available, you want THAT?”

“Hey, you put it on sale. Unless maybe you had an empty slot and the empty slot bothered you that much, so you put wall dweller flesh on your tail,”

He stares at them and groans, “500 worth of data,”

“Done deal,”

And the moment the expendable paid for it, they plopped it in their mouth. Sebastian feels as if they’re long gone at this point, though anyone stupid enough to actually accept to come down here probably already were.

Wait, that time where he shot the wall dweller… Don’t tell him…

He stopped thinking about it, “You’re so disgusting…”

“Helps me whenever that shark fries my brain a little. Or Painter manages to hit me,”

“What are you even talking about?”

They looked up at him with wide eyes, “Hm? Well, eating their flesh gives me a nice regeneration perk. Dying gets rid of it, obviously,”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah! You didn’t know? Shockingly, they taste a little like chicken,”

They did. They absolutely did.

“So… You’re telling me that eating a piece of them gives you, what? Regenerative abilities?”

They nodded, “Yup! It’s pretty convenient,”

“And that’s not in their document because…?” He muttered to himself this time.

“Who knows? Anyway, see you in my next life!”

Yeah, they’ve lost it. Definitely.

#🌑 // the moon provides #sebastian solace x reader #sebastian solace #roblox pressure sebastian #pressure roblox #roblox pressure #roblox #pressure #pressure sebastian #sebastian x reader

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